I’ve been a little down recently and trying to figure out why. It struck me this morning. As a mom no one is ever going out of their way for ME. Which isn’t fair. My husband does a LOT for our family and for the kids. And the kids are sweet, if occasionally monstrous. But I was putting together my husband’s tea for him to have something warm when he walked Levi to the bus stop at 7 (yes, see, my husband walks our kid to the bus stop, I really need to stop complaining), and I realized that from the moment I wake up I’m trying to help other people, I get out of bed and make my son lunch while my husband makes breakfast and sits down to eat with him. I make breakfast for Phalene and myself, mine gets cold and then it’s walking her to school, coming home and cleaning clothes or something, or going grocery shopping. I’m getting the things into backpacks or put away so they can be worn tomorrow.

I get plenty of time to myself (okay, I want more), but if the roles were reversed I would never sit down to eat. I wouldn’t be handed a tea when I stepped out the door. And it isn’t that he isn’t caring, it’s that he wouldn’t think of it. It’s compounded by the fact that I don’t get Christmas or birthday presents unless I buy them myself.

And I’m having a hard time because it isn’t fair to be upset over it. I don’t know how to explain the problem I’m having, because I KNOW I’m so overly blessed.

But at the same time, I really want someone to hand me tea. Or to put the hot water bottle in my bed on cold nights.